All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize