Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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