Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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