she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
