Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
