It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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