Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
