so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
