I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Randomize
