if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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