Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
