You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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