have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
