she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
