Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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