in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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