He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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