If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We are two peas in an std pod
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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