Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
