It's Friday. Sex?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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