Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
