matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
