Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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