I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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