she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just had sex on a roof
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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