I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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