Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize