Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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