You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
