i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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