Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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