I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
