Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
