This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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