I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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