took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I enjoy the company of your penis
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize