i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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