In the future we'll all be gay
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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