I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
