every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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