were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize