I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
