In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize