i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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