If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
