did you get engaged???
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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