dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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