Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
