Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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