Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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