her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Panties = found
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