Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
