I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
