Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
