Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
