oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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