i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
