he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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